Sex After 50

SEX ADVICE for THE BOBBYPIN GENERATION

by

Liza G. Spot
 

When you were seventeen (remember when?!) and you were having SEX, your biggest problems were:

1.Having to do it in the car and getting IT done before the police come knocking on the steamed car window

2.Doing it in someone else’s house while their parents weren’t home, and getting it done before their parents’ did come home.

3. Doing it at your own house when your parent’s weren't home, and getting it done before they did come home.

4.Taking birth control pills so you didn't get  pregnant and  hiding the fact from our parents’

5.    As a female, just learning to ENJOY IT.

That was then, this is now. Sex 50 or so years later has a whole different set of problems. While location is no longer the issue (as I assume you have your own home) and you don’t have to worry about getting caught (as I assume that your kids have left the nest) the good news is that you’ll have all the time in the world to get it done. The bad news? You may need it!

You win some and you lose some!

By 50, I hope you have mastered the fine art of THE BIG O. Having done so, you would think sex would be phenomenal and you would want to do it three times a day – at least!

Wrong!

So what stops you from participating in this three times a day cardio activity? Bad backs . . . lack of desire . . .bad knees. . . lack of desire . . . menopausal dryness . . .lack of desire. . .falling asleep before even getting started . . . lack of desire . . . lack of desire and LACK OF DESIRE!!!!!!!

It is not that you don’t LOVE your significant other. And it is not that you don’t LIKE him anymore, because, actually, you do still love him and maybe like him even more than when you first met. 

So, here’s the deal: as we mature SEX just ain’t as important as it used to be.  

Other things take the place of sex as the priority in your lives. Like what, you ask? What could possibly be more important than sex? Reminiscing again, you envision that perky seventeen year old girl you were when absolutely nothing was more important that SEX. You recall those first few years you were married. SEX was IT, it was key, and you had LOTS of it. If you were single in those days, the sexual revolution allowed you to get it on – or was it off – with many, many partners and admittedly, some of you lost count – but who’s counting? Even with husband #2, even #3, SEX was fantastic at the beginning of the relationship. You felt like a teenager again.

Ah, HORMONES, they reach their all time high for women somewhere in their thirties. So in your thirties, you were like a SEX-CRAZED eighteen year old boy! Hmm. In fact, that is what you wanted – an eighteen year old sex-crazed boy. Oh boy! What would you have wanted to talk about with him anyway? Oh, you wanted to TALK?!

So, here's the bottom-line. Thank goodness for VIAGRA! No, only kidding - NOT! What is important as you mature? Having a life partner to share your days and nights with; having someone to send you those cute and not so funny cards on those special days, and having someone for you to send those not so cute and funny cards to on their special days; having someone to KISS hello and good-bye when you come and go from your homes; having someone special to escort you to that wedding and having him tell you how YOUNG you look when he leads you to the dance floor. No longer the insecure  seventeen year old GIRL, you don’t worry about being left alone at the table when all the other couples get up to dance. What could be more special than having a lifetime worth of MEMORIES together so that when you mention something that happened years and years ago, he remembers too? In other words, your sex life moves from THERE to your HEARTS. And that is actually pretty WONDERFUL!

Still, you're not dead yet. MIRACLES do happen. So that when your lack of desire suddenly turns around (AND IT DOES!) and you want to have sex, you can turn to his familiar face and . . . oh, gosh, he’s SNORING!!

Ah, nothing really changes. Just like at seventeen, TIMING is everything!

Lisa G. Spot has been a sex education teacher in the New York City school system since 1988. She has influenced the sexual lives of over 5,000 middle and high school students during her career.  She has also taught NYC school teachers how to teach their students the Sex-Ed curriculum. She worked as a staff trainer for AIDS Education for the New York City Department of Education. When not teaching her students, she is educating her husband on the many fine points of sex in their classroom in the back seat of their 1965 GTO.

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